Playing tennis on my due date

Today was my due date.  I was never terribly attached to it, since I didn’t think the baby would be born on it.  I assumed that if I were like my mum, my baby would come about two weeks early.  Both of hers were.  When people asked me when I was due, I just said Annunciation–March 25–because I liked using a Great Feast as a marker.

I go back to work in two weeks.  Despite manifold frustrations and complications from the Metropolitan’s death, I will be churched on Friday, but won’t be able to meet with my spiritual father for two weeks.

I was having a really bad, emotional weekend (owing in part to the above referenced “manifold frustrations and complications”), and we decided to “play tennis” with my mum.  Because of being out of practice and unable to do a lot of physical activity, this means just hitting tennis balls–not actually playing anything that remotely resembles tennis.

We were finishing out last hopper-ful of balls when a gangbanging 16-year-old and his 4-year-old daughter decided to walk through our court.  The gangbanging kid started hitting our tennis balls over the fence with his baseball bat.  I approached him, fuming, and said, “Excuse me, are those our balls?”  He said they were and I asked, vexed, “Then why are you hitting them over the fence?”  He replied, “What, do you not have enough for something?”  The 16-year-old then allowed his daughter to steal another one of our balls as we were leaving (I didn’t want to stay another minute after this).

I was so mad, what was supposed to be a positive activity ruined my day–which was, admittedly, already not terribly good, so there wasn’t really much to ruin.  Here it was, my due date–the day my baby was supposed to be fully developed in my womb–and I have no living baby, yet this high schooler can stomp into my day and my life and teach his child how to be a nuisance just like he is.

I would have normally found this situation unnerving: I can’t stand people who do things just to hurt and annoy others–it’s not like they were benefiting from hitting balls we bought over the fence.  Today, I found it almost unbearable.

I wish people like that just didn’t exist.  Society does not people whose only purpose is to destroy others’ lives.  Since he was clearly gang-affiliated, he literally destroys people’s lives, as well as hurting as many others as he encounters in his life along the way.

My one small happiness today was basically eaten up by the senselessness of someone else’s actions.  I wish I could just brush it off, but I can’t seem to.  It may be stupid to let someone so easily affect me, but it seems to be getting easier and easier right now.


One thought on “Playing tennis on my due date

  1. I find myself much more sensitive to things and people these days too. I think we must just be spending so much emotional energy grieving and processing that we don’t have much reserve left to deal with others in general. I feel terrible that when I found out a friend had his appendix out this weekend, that my first thought was, he loses an appendix and I lose a baby? My first reaction couldn’t be sympathy and I feel awful for that. My emotional responses are all out of whack. At least your frustration was aimed appropriately. I”m sorry this all happened on your due date. It’s a difficult day no matter what.

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