Just fat, not pregnant… anymore

“So I see you’re expecting.”

I never lost the baby weight.  My stomach is still protruded.  Despite months of strict diet and faithful exercise, I couldn’t lose a pound, couldn’t lose a dress size.  I am a perpetual 6-month-pregnant blimp.  I was never a “big” pregnant woman, but what I was is how I’ve remained post-baby.

And so I get these questions and comments.  They hurt because they remind me I have had babies inside of me before, but not now, and I have nothing to show for the 55 pounds I gained.  It’s like the weight is holding on, still anticipating a baby before it lets go.

I think I was most irked by this woman’s comment because I felt like she should know better.  I guess the priest who had arranged for us to stay with her while we were in town for Palm Sunday services didn’t warn her.  I guess she didn’t put two and two together when, a little panicked, the priest called her while we met with him to inquire if her pregnant daughter and 2-year-old had moved out yet–they had just moved that day, thankfully.  He had forgotten that that would be intensely difficult for us.  I guess she didn’t wonder at all that he asked about that, and her first comment when we met was to congratulate me on my pregnancy.

I always want to talk about my son, but I don’t want to have to talk about him like that.  “Oh no, not pregnant, just still fat after a depressing year+ of losing babies.”

It would be easy to say that maybe others shouldn’t jump to pregnancy conclusions, but among Orthodox women, it’s usually true, so I can’t really blame her for that.


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